The Widespread Impact of a Vow Renewal

DonUlecia couldn’t believe what she was seeing. It seems to be a theme at Sandals Grenada. Guests open the curtains and, from a SkySuite four stories above paradise, stare hypnotically at the Caribbean ocean lapping up to this tropical Eden.

On this particular afternoon, DonUlecia fixed her eyes on a man-made marvel developing among the natural beauty: Friends, family, and colleagues forming a train of joy toward the beach. People from all over the Americas had come to Sandals Grenada to celebrate with DonUlecia and Joseph as they renewed their wedding vows. Let’s be clear, they came for the vacation of a lifetime. The vow renewal provided the justification they needed to travel into the southern Caribbean to snorkel, relax, dine, and sink their toes and other body parts into the powder-soft sand.

In the hour leading up to the 4 p.m. ceremony, those guests arose from beach loungers, pool loungers, massage tables, and king-size beds, and joined a procession to the oceanfront wedding altar.

“I watched from our balcony,” DonUlecia says, “and they just kept coming.”

A total of 51 people, all dressed in white, settled into their seats with the breeze on their faces. DonUlecia could have stared all afternoon. But she had to get down to the ocean, where the guests waited in anticipation of her arrival at the back of the parade. She and Joseph were about to make eyes wider and wetter than anyone expected.

“We didn’t realize how impactful our vows and 20 years of marriage would be to the people who were there,” DonUlecia says.

“Especially our two daughters,” Joseph says.

Mom and Dad were about to remind them that marriage is everlasting.

DonUlecia’s memory is everlasting, too. She remembers what Joseph wore the first day she saw him when he strolled into her workplace in 1998.

“Brown jacket. Khaki pants. Black shoes.”

Joseph’s most impressive skills include listening to his wife and agreeing.

“If she says that’s what I wore, I’ll take her word for it.”

The memory of their wedding day in the Detroit area gets a little hazier. It didn’t help that a medical condition in the months leading up to the wedding had been causing DonUlecia to pass out four or five times a day. The very last thing she wanted the 168 guests to see on the red carpet was her collapsed self among the flower petals.

“The thought of falling was in the back of my mind, the front of my mind, everywhere. On top of that, I was thinking about the bridesmaids, the ring bearer, the flower girls, the hair, and all the personalities in one room. It was a stressful blur.”

Joseph remembers staying out of the way. “And paying for everything,” he says.

The good news: DonUlecia stayed on her feet.

The other news: The wedding totaled more than $30,000.

There would be no honeymoon.

The next 20 years are relatable to anyone who’s been married that long. There would be children and challenges. There would be inevitable changes in jobs, goals, and each other. A few things remained constant for DonUlecia and Joseph: their values, their commitment, and a come-and-go conversation about someday renewing their vows.

“We finally decided to stop talking and do it,” Joseph says. “But we didn’t want to rush through a ceremony and be done. We wanted to really do it up.”

He experienced a little déjà vu about doing it up in Michigan again, specifically the $30-$40K bill. Call it serendipity or a message from above, but during their discussions of a vow renewal the two of them happened to be invited to a wedding at Sandals Halcyon in St. Lucia.

“We’d never been to Sandals,” DonUlecia says. “The food. The beauty. The service. Everything. It was just … wow.”

It was aha, too. While their friends were still celebrating the freshness of their nuptials, DonUlecia and Joseph stepped into the Sandals Loyalty Club to take their discussion of a vow renewal to the next level. Pictures of Sandals Grenada sealed the location. They’d stay in a Sky Pool suite with a balcony and private infinity pool looking down on the same beach where an altar would be placed. Anyone who wanted to come could come. It might only be a handful of people, including their daughters, and that would be fine.

“We gave everyone more than a year to think about it,” DonUlecia says.

A day after the invitations went out, one couple booked a room. Then another. Friends booked. Cousins booked. Friends of cousins. Cousins of friends. It was as if people had been waiting for someone — anyone — to give them a greater purpose to take a Sandals all-inclusive vacation.

The vow renewal became their purpose.

It also became the honeymoon DonUlecia and Joseph had never taken. They arrived at Sandals Grenada six days before the ceremony to enjoy an ocean cruise, an excursion to one of Grenada’s world-famous chocolate makers, tastings at two rum distilleries, and showers in a pure island waterfall. They celebrated DonUlecia’s birthday under a personalized beach cabana, indulged in a special Bourbon Street buffet with touches of Grenadian spices, partied at a rum-and-game night, and dove into smothered oxtail prepared by their butler at home and served at the resort.

“The staff became family,” DonUlecia says, “and that made everything more meaningful.”

Joseph nods in agreement: “Phenomenal.”

His favorite part of the week, however, had not yet come.

DonUlecia opened the curtains. The morning sun spread total calm over the ocean, land, and people. From her vantage point, she could see the Sandals staff bringing her vow renewal vision to life.

“Literally under my eyes,” she says. The royal blue. The brilliant white. The bands of gold that Joseph recommended. DonUlecia (to a girls-only breakfast) and Joseph (to a mani-pedi) went their own ways while the staff tended to the details.

In the minutes leading up to the ceremony, with all of the emotions — joy, peace, gratitude, love — rising to an apex, DonUlecia stepped onto the balcony again to watch the guests flow toward the edge of the ocean. And then, in Grenadian style, she stepped into a wedding chariot for her ride to the red carpet.

“It was like an out of body experience,” she says. “Resort guests cheered. I waved. Then I walked down to the ocean in front of all of our loved ones dressed in blue.”

Ask Joseph what was more meaningful, the weeklong vacation or the 20-minute vow renewal, and he doesn’t hesitate.

“The vow renewal, most definitely. When you’ve been with someone for more than 20 years, you go through growth and changes. The vow renewal was like being married all over again to the people we are now.”

In a switch of character, it’s Joseph who clearly remembers the words that were spoken on the beach. There was a passage from Ecclesiastes: “Two are better than one … if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” And there was a message directly from DonUlecia’s heart: “Joseph, you are a great husband, a great father. You have sacrificed in order to take care of our girls and me.”

The two of them looked out and saw the impact the moment was having on everyone — especially the men — in attendance. Those men were looking with deep respect at Joseph as he looked at his daughters. His two little girls had grown up. They’d been witnesses of this entire marriage and the work that goes into a commitment, thankful to have both parents at home, staying true to their original vows.

“That was a very powerful moment for me,” Joseph says.

“And for all of us,” DonUlecia says.

In a little while, there would be fire performers, the cutting of a delicious Caribbean cake, and dancing on the beach. But those few minutes at the altar would continue to resonate. They made the impact they were intended to make, even to those who didn’t expect it.

And that will last forever.